Where do I start? I LOVE me lol. But seriously, I think the thing I love about myself most is my resilience. No matter what I've done in life, and I have done a lot, I have been knocked down, disappointed, rejected, screwed over...and still, I rise.
Just a brief overview. I am the children of immigrants. I don't even know how many siblings my mother has without counting them out lol. I was the first one to go to college, and graduate. Can you imagine how much pressure is on me? I am the blueprint. I am the bench mark. I got teased incredulously as a child for being smart. For being "too white". For being able to read well {no BS}. Anytime anyone of my cousins messed up, it was "why can't you be more like Sarah?". I am used as a boasting tool by both sets of grandparents, as well as my parents. People often ask me why I moved to the US. Well there are many reasons, but I suppose the main one is that being educated in England means being surrounded by predominantly white people. And while I love my white people, I felt growing up that I was missing out on something. All of my black friends were a hot mess. I guess you can say I come from the "hood" although I'm prissy...idk how that works lol.
Anyway, the United States, and metro-Atlanta especially, is a great place for an educated black person to be. They have their own black bourgeoisie. I often don't think my black American friends know how lucky they are. They can go to a hospital, and the doctor is black. They can go to a courthouse, and the judge is black. They can go to a restaurant, and the owner is black. I see a Bentley on 75, and I don't hope it is a black person driving it, I am CONFIDENT as it is.
I digress. My resilience. I am a very strong person, and I don't think I give myself enough credit for that on many occasions. I moved to the USA by myself. At 18. Not knowing anybody in GA. Set up a life there. Graduated in 4 years. Dated a lot. Dealt with 3 insanely irregular men I was serious about. Even if, in retrospect, they weren't serious about me. These were not normal situations, each of them were unique {and not in a good way} in their own way. I dealt with the heartache and disappointment not being able to go home to escape everything. Not being able to see my family for half a year at a time. Not being able to have those mother-daughter talks like I wanted to.
Anyway my point is I survived. I more than survived, I flourished. I graduated with a 3.45 despite my circumstances. And THAT was a disappointment because I should have done better, but I let the wrong people turn my head. I worked and supported myself entirely after graduation. I became self-sufficient. I re-discovered my love for myself. I am 23, and entirely debt-free. How many people can say that? I'll wait.
My point is, I don't doubt my strengths or my character ever. I may doubt that people are intelligent enough to recognize them, but I can honestly say they don't make too many like me anymore. I am a strong, black, West-Indian/British woman. And I love that about myself.
- @theEnglishchick
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